For
all those gardeners who have a problem, but don't want a cure, I'll
provide some crazy gardeners' work and money-saving tips in the Gardeners
Anonymous column.
The
Gardeners Anonymous Creed
I
want it.
I
want it all.
I
want it now.
If
it will not grow in my zone or is prohibitively expensive, I want it
most of all.
I
am perfectly willing to forego any necessities of life such as food
for my children in order to have it.
I
recognize my horticultural dependency.
I
recognize your horticultural dependency.
I
will willingly aid and abet your dependency, as you aid and abet
mine. This makes us infinitely happy.
All
money saved by virtue of comparison shopping equals found money and
is therefore not counted as spending.
If
everyone else has it, I must have it too.
If
no one else has it, I must get it first.
If
I have planted everything I have already purchased, I must
immediately buy more plants.
...At
this point, it is customary to recite your visa number from memory |